Ask any writer and they’ll tell you there is always a level of doubt on the story they are outlining.
Will it be good enough? Is the story weak? Are the characters a bore?
For me, writing Perfect Soul it was a question of will this alienante the few fans I had at the time.
A little background before I began. I was just coming off concluding the final book of the Morium Trilogy and was eager to start my first full book outside the trilogy. To some, Morium are considered YA books. I never really thought of them as such, mainly because of some of the adult and graphic content within the books. Between Book Two and Three, I did release an anthology titled Splintered Love, a collection of short stories with not so happily ever after endings. It was different from Morium for the stories were paranormal romance and erotica.
It was during this time I had a story brewing in my mind. A story about a young, religious woman falling from the grace of God and into the darkness of pure evil. The plot revolved around eighteen year old High School student Nikki Strange, devout Christian living with her parents in the town of, Perfect. One night, against her better judgement, her and her friend Amber dabbled with a Ouija board for which it releases an evil spirit that torments the pure Nikki until she gives in and pledges her soul to it for all eternity.
While Perfect Soul in its present form is dark, the original story would have gone places for which I did not feel comfortable going as a writer. The extremely brutal and sexual undertone that I felt needed to be told for Nikki’s descent, made me pause and rethink the entire concept. The complete dissection of an innocent mind into sheer madness could not be held back. I thought deeply about it. I know a writer is to write the story they want to tell and not worry, but as a semi fresh writer, I felt I couldn’t take that chance. Do I regret it now? Not at all. Would I write it now? Undecided.
Below is a section after Nkki had been exposed to the evil. It gives a slight insight of the direction I was heading in.
*WARNING* Contains erotic material and violence.
The Seduction of Nikki Strange
Her mouth stretched to the limit as the faceless man slid the head of his thick pole into her mouth.
“I’ll teach you how to please a man,” his deep voice grumbled in her mind.
Fear should’ve overtaken her, but she remained calm, almost taking pleasure in accepting what he was putting in her mouth. Her hands were bound by an unseen force behind her small frame. The nipples on her small breasts stood erect, displayed in full view.
She had no idea where she was at. The two of them floated in a haze with nothing else around. Her long blond hair rested over her naked body, partially covering her sky blue eyes. Peaceful could explain the feeling around them. Yet terrifying at the same time.
“I’ll show you the true desires of lust and pain.” The faceless man removed his cock, then slapped it on her cheek. “Horrors that will freeze you soul. Pleasures you can’t possibly imagine.”
Released from the bond, her arms dropped by her side. Curiosity came over her as she reached up to touch the flesh that stood erect before her. She’d never saw one, yet alone have one in her hands. Her index finger gently brushed it before she wrapped her small hands around his cock.
“Taste it you little fucking slut,” he growled. “Let me flow from you.”
Her tongue touched the tip before withdrawing back into her mouth. Enraged, he pulled her hair, yanking her head back.
“Are you going to listen to me, or will I have to end your life.” His voice rumbled in her soul. I will make you my bitch.
He released her, dropping her mouth in the path of his rod. Her tongue caressed the head, causing him to release a gentle moan. Gliding down the shaft, she made her way back up. A relentless burning engulfed her insides the faster she indulged herself with him. Her pussy, now drenched with sin yearned to take him. She knew sinners burned in hell and the amount of sins she wanted to commit would give her a direct path to damnation, yet, she didn’t care.
She desired him to grab her breasts; to pinch her nipples, to sense hands explore her body for the first time, but she didn’t want to anger him. He was in control and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.
“You like it, bitch?” he asked.
Consumed by lust, she didn’t answer.
“Answer me,” he bellowed
“Yes,” she whispered between licks.
“What,” she replied.
The man lifted her up by the hair and dangled her in front of him. “You will call me, Master. Is that understood?”
“Master. Yes, Master,” she said.
He raised her higher so her breasts were before his plain face. The agony seared through her skull as her hair pulled at their roots. The pain became secondary as her heart raced at the thought of what she desperately wanted him to do.
He must’ve read her mind, for a small slit formed across the bottom of his head. Forming itself into a mouth, it grinned before a tongue slid its way out. The moisture sent shivers through her body. So gentle was he as he ran his tongue around the pink of her nipple that the pain and pleasure mixed together in pure euphoria.
His mouth cupped around her breasts, his tongue danced around her swollen nipples. His hand caressed her other breast as a slight nibble shook her body. Then another. His tongue stopped, she felt his teeth take hold of her nipple. With a quick snap, he bit down, and tore her nipple off. She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. A clear liquid oozed from the wound, dripping down her breast.
His thumb continued to flick her other nipple in a playful manner. The line between pain and pleasure became a blur. She accepted the suffering just for a taste of what he’d shown her. She waited for unavoidable and he didn’t make her wait long. A jolt shot through her chest as her last nipple was removed, causing her to quiver.
The man sent out a laugh that vibrated to her core. He raised and lowered by her hair violently like a yo-yo. She didn’t resist, instead letting herself be tossed about.
“Stop it, please,” she screamed.
“You beg for mercy, but your body and soul beg for more.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“You want more. I will—“
An unheard noise caught his attention. His head turned sharply in all directions, before facing back at her.
“You will concede to me in time. You’ll be my servant.”
“Are you with us, Ms. Strange?”
Nikki snapped to, staring at Sister Marie’s middle age, stern face standing a few inches from her. Her brows angled down, the corner of her mouth twitching upward with every syllable, Sister Marie slammed her fist down on the desk.
“In this classroom you will pay attention,” Sister Marie growled.
“Yes, master,” Nikki responded.
“Ma’am. Yes Ma’am.”
Sister Marie walked back to her desk. Nikki felt the stares knifing through her from her classmates. She stared across the sea of white, button down shirts that occupied the desks around her. She turned her attention back to the Bible on her desk and lowered her head. Her heart raced and her legs trembled, not from embarrassment, but from the experience she just felt.
No matter how hard she tried to push this unknown person away, it would come back stronger. The faceless man had only visited her during the night and this was the first time he invaded her mind during the day. He was clear in his messages and the temptation to give in to him was fought with the power of God. Yet, the idea of lust, death, and greed lurked in the back of her mind.